


How to Build a Life

by theblindfriend



Category: Yuri!!! on Ice (Anime)
Genre: Alternate Universe - College/University, Blind Character, Blind!Yuuri, I want to add tags but idk what!, M/M, does this count as hurt/comfort?
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-07-23
Updated: 2017-08-07
Packaged: 2018-12-06 03:08:49
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 5,582
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11591673
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/theblindfriend/pseuds/theblindfriend
Summary: Yuuri has found excuses his entire life to be alone, but some people will fight to change that.A blind!Yuuri college AU about Yuuri figuring himself and other people out.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Hi! I hope you like my Blind!Yuuri College AU! It's a bit self indulgent, but I've tried my best to stay true to the characters. Please enjoy! And let me know what you think!

The fifth floor study room Yuuri is using is just quiet and secluded enough. The sounds of other people distract him just as much as sitting in public with his braillenote makes him uncomfortable. It’s the week before finals and surprisingly, Yuuri feels good about most of his exams. The numbers have always come easy. That’s partially why he enjoys engineering so much, but the non-major classes he is forced to take are a different story though.  
The audio program keeps pronouncing all the names so horribly that it’s making Yuuri wish even more that he had never enrolled in Introduction to Russian Culture. His counselor had suggested a Japanese or English lit class, but Phichit had encouraged Yuuri to branch out more because “college is about trying new things!” So here Yuuri is at 11 o’clock at night in a reserved study room, attempting to grasp the significance of a duel between two Russian jerks.  
“Eugene Onegin was adapted into an opera by which composer?” the robotic voice asks.  
“I don’t even remember who wrote it in the first place,” Yuuri groans, dropping his head to the table.  
“Pyotr Ilyich Tchaikovsky composed the opera and Alexander Pushkin wrote the novel,” a man says. Yuuri sits straight up, blushing profusely. His voice sounds mature and confident, which makes Yuuri feel even more embarrassed.  
“I’m sorry, I have this room reserved till midnight.”  
“My bad. Good luck with finals,” the man says. Yuuri hears him walk out and close the door. He thinks they sound young, maybe a bit older than Yuuri, but of course he can’t tell for sure. Yuuri sighs and taps his watch, but sadly, it tells him that it’s only 11:15. _Maybe I’ll end early and just let what I’ve studied so far sink in_ , Yuuri thinks, but then he remembers that Phichit isn’t picking him up until 12:15 because he has a study group at a different library. So Yuuri stretches and returns to the godless Russian literature with the intention of giving Phichit an earful later.

~

“Yuuri it’s two in the afternoon. You need to come out,” Phichit chides. Yuuri has been curled under a mound of blankets since his Russian culture final yesterday morning.  
“Just let me wallow for a little while, Phichit.”  
“You’ve been in there for almost fourteen hours straight. That’s more than a little while. If you won’t come out to me, I guess I’ll have to go to you!” Yuuri hears the knob turn and wishes he had gotten a lock. “It couldn’t have been that bad, Yuuri. And even if it was, you can always take it again over the summer or something!” The bed creaks as Phichit sits down.  
“I was in that class with freshmen, Phichit. It’s embarrassing.”  
“Freshmen are too concerned with finding a date and a party to pay attention to whether you passed or not.”  
“Uuuuuuuugh”  
“Fine. I’ll give you till 4, but then you have to get up, get dressed, and come to the communications holiday party with me.” _Why are comm majors so enthusiastic?_ Yuuri thinks but doesn’t say because he doesn’t want to hurt his best friend’s feelings. “You’ll only have to be there for an hour and a half. Two tops! And then I’ll drive you home and take an uber back so I can drink a little.”  
“Only an hour and a half? Will there be food?”  
“Of course! It’s settled then. I’ll go pick out your outfit!”  
“I’m a grown man. I can pick out my own clothes, Phichit.”  
“Yuuri, I love you but the last time you picked out your own party clothes you wore a yellow shirt and green jacket.”  
“I got the drawers mixed up! … Fine, but nothing too flashy, please.”  
“Red it is!!”  
“Phichit.... “

~

It’s about 7:30 when Phichit and Yuuri arrive at the comm major holiday party. Phichit has dragged Yuuri to multiple comm parties in their three years together. He claims that it’s good for Yuuri, but Yuuri can’t see how standing around bumping into things and facing the wrong person when he’s talking is good for him. There are so many sounds and people that it’s always overwhelming.  
This party seems to be strangely calmer though. While walking to the door, Yuuri doesn’t hear people talking in the yard or smell cigarette, or another kind of, smoke. Phichit even knocks before going in.  
“Whose party is this, Phichit?”  
“It’s a comm major party… technically.”  
“What do you mean ‘technically’?”  
“It’s actually a comm major _grad student_ party. But don’t worry! You’ll probably have more fun than usual. They’re all really nice and not as loud and there’s less people! All things that you like!”  
“I’m lowering the minimum time to an hour.”  
“Only if you have one drink.”  
The sounds of the party are a bit similar to the sounds of the B &B during wedding season. Yuuri can hear lots of small conversations and soft music mixed with kitchen sounds coming from deeper in the house. He stops to fold his cane and take his jacket off.  
“I can take that if you’d like,” a man offers. His voice is pleasant but heavy, almost as if he were giving the innocent phrase some kind of double meaning.  
“Oh umm thanks, but that’s okay. I wouldn’t be able to find it later,” Yuuri admits and waves his cane a little to let the man know that he’s blind.  
“I’m so sorry I had no idea. Can I get you anything?” Yuuri doesn’t need to see the man to know he has a shocked look on his face. Because Yuuri keeps his eyes open and points himself to face where a sound is coming from, most people just assume he can see. Yuuri has never minded, but the rush of apologies and awkwardness when someone realizes is wearing.  
“That’s okay. Really. I’m here with a friend. He can help me find things. Thank you for offering though.”  
“Oh good! But well umm where is this friend?”  
Yuuri stiffens. He was so preoccupied with his jacket and cane and this stranger that he didn’t even notice that there wasn’t a warm body standing next to him.  
“I… He… I thought... “  
“Yuuri! I got us drinks,” Phichit says from across the room. Yuuri is so relieved that he can’t help but sigh.  
“That must be him. Well, have a good time, Yuuri,” the man says, back to his original tone.  
“Thank you... umm?”  
“Chris. Chris Giacometti.”  
“Thank you, Chris.” Yuuri hears Chris start to walk away just as Phichit walks up. He puts a glass into Yuuri’s hand and insists that Yuuri recount the entire encounter because apparently Chris is a second year grad student, the host of the party, and very attractive.  
Yuuri sips at his drink(sangria he learns after an unexpectedly sweet first taste) for about half an hour. He’s standing by himself while Phichit is using the restroom and pulls out his phone to pass the time. Yuuri doesn’t have any new messages, no surprise, but he does have an email. It’s an alert from the school letting him know his final grades are up. Phichit walks up as his phone tells him that he got a D in Russian culture. Yuuri will have to retake the class.  
“Yuuri are you okay? You look like you might be sick.”  
“I’m fine… Actually, I’m thirsty. Can we get another glass of sangria?”  
“Two drinks in one night? Yuuri, I’m so proud!” The last thing Yuuri remembers is the second glass of sangria.

~

About a month into spring semester, Yuuri becomes the tutor for a freshman student in Calculus 1. They explain to Yuuri that they aren’t great at teaching themselves but if they have help they can progress quickly. Yuuri decides that a good course of action would be weekly tutoring to follow along with the course. After their meeting, Yuuri emails the professor to try and get any course materials like powerpoints, the syllabus, handouts, etc.

Hi Professor Feltsman,  
My name is Yuuri Katsuki, I’m one of the calculus tutors at the student learning center. A student from your MW 11 o’clock  
Calc1A class will be coming in for tutoring once a week to stay on top of the course. It would be very helpful if you could send me any course materials, like powerpoints or handouts, so I can understand the pace your class is taking and better assist the student.  
Thank you very much,  
Yuuri Katsuki  
katsukiyuuri1@gmail.com  
707) 555-1234  
SLC Tues-Fri 1-6pm

Yuuri checks his email the next morning, but he hasn’t received a response. He isn’t worried though because professors are busy and the student won’t be coming in until Thursday next week. Yuuri goes to morning classes before heading to work. He has three, now four , students he sees regularly with a couple random drop-ins every so often. As Yuuri heads to the computer to clock in, the student working the front desk tells him that there’s someone waiting for him at his desk. Yuuri assumes it’s a new drop-in.  
“Hi, I’m Yuuri. What class were you needing help with today?”  
“Yakov sent me over to drop off his Calc 1 handouts, but when I realized it was you, I had to stay to say hi!!” a man very enthusiastically shares as Yuuri goes to take his seat. Taken off guard, Yuuri knocks his knee on the chair then his elbow on the desk.  
“What? I-um-I’m sorry what? How do… what?!”  
“Anyway,, here are Yakov’s materials. Sorry about all the paper. He’s pretty old school, ya know?” Yuuri hears a thud on his desk, which he assumes is a large stack of papers. His mouth has been hanging open since he managed to actually take a seat. _He’s so friendly but I don’t know him?_ Yuuri thinks. He doesn’t realize that he’s taking too long to respond though. “Yuuri? Did you hear me? These are Yakov’s papers.”  
“Right umm okay…”  
“Do you want to go over them with me before I go?”  
“Go over them… with you… actually, I need them scanned into screen reader compatible PDFs.”  
“You need them scanned? Do you have something against paper?” the man asks jokingly. Yuuri finally gets that the man doesn’t know he’s blind.  
“Uhh yeah unless they’re in braille,” Yuuri says with an awkward laugh. He places his folded cane on the desk to make sure the man really understands.  
“Yuuri… You’re blind.” It isn’t a question. Yuuri doesn’t know how to respond so he just waits. “I never realized. You’ve always been so…”  
“It’s not big deal really. Sorry I didn’t make it clearer when I introduced myself, but I really do need the papers scanned.” Yuuri rushes his words in both an attempt to make the man feel less uncomfortable and to shorten the interaction.  
“Right, of course. I’m so sorry. I can do that right away and then email them to you.” He sounds a bit shaken still. Usually people are thrown off a bit when asked to accommodate, but the man seems so out of it that Yuuri is a little worried.  
“You don’t have to apologize. It’s okay.” Yuuri tries his best to sound open and smiles in the man’s direction.  
“Okay then,” the man says, already sounding a bit better. “Is the gmail you used to email Yakov the best one? We should schedule a time so I can come in and talk about how he runs things too!”  
“Yeah that email is best. Uh, I guess that could be helpful. Why don’t I get your contact info and we can find a time?”  
“My number is (415) 555 - 9876!” The man’s enthusiasm surprises Yuuri, though he’s starting to think it’s something he should get used to. Yuuri puts the number in his phone.  
“I’m sorry but what name should I put that under?”  
“My name? Yuuri, you don’t… Oh. You didn’t… Victor. My name’s Victor Nikiforov.” Yuuri doesn’t understand the man’s confusion, but he’s worried that asking what he meant will open a can of worms that Yuuri can’t really deal with right now. He shakes Victor’s hand, thanks him, and says goodbye. Victor tells Yuuri that he can’t wait until next time with a tone that makes Yuuri blush up to his ears.  
The rest of the afternoon seems very dull in comparison to meeting Victor.

~

 

_If I tell Phichit, he’ll turn it into a huge deal. But if I don’t tell him and he finds out, which of course he will because he finds out everything, he’ll be upset that I didn’t tell him myself._ Yuuri isn’t sure what to do, but when he gets home and Phichit happily greets him, he knows that he could never really keep anything from his best friend.  
“Remember how I told you about the new calc student that came in?”  
“Oh yeah! Did the professor email you his lectures?”  
“Well, actually, he sent his TA to the student learning center to drop off all the papers today.”  
“Papers? Gross. Dang that means you have to scan them huh?”  
“I asked the TA if he could do it and he was happy to help out.”  
“Good, I hate when people aren’t accommodating.” There’s a long pause and Yuuri thinks Phichit has pulled out his phone. _Okay just tell him. Make it seem like no big deal._  
“Yeah he was really nice. He gave me his number so we could go over how the professor runs the class and stuff.”  
“Oooo, that’s friendly.” Phichit’s new interest in the story tells Yuuri that he didn’t make it seem like no big deal. “Since when do you make plans so easily? What’s his name?” Phichit asks as Yuuri hears his socked feet patter across the floor towards him.  
“Victor, but I don’t remember his last name. It was Russian I think?”  
“Yuuri, come on! You gotta give me better details! It’s no fun when the info isn’t specific!” Yuuri is used to Phichit turning every molehill into a mountain, so he pulls out his phone to find the contact without a fuss. Yuuri’s phone reads out Nikiforov very badly, but still understandable. “Omg I can’t believe you got Victor Nikiforov’s number and you didn’t even realize it! Yuuri, Professor Feltsman picked him to TA because the entire class will show up to study sessions just to look at him!”  
“Phichit, I think you’re exaggerating a bit.”  
“Of course I’m exaggerating, but Yuuri, Victor is really amazing! Not only is he gorgeous, but he’s sooo smart! He’s a third-year architecture grad student. He moved to the US as a teenager by himself to go to school. Not only does he TA for Feltsman, he works for a firm in San Francisco without even having his masters yet!”  
“Oh my god.” Yuuri’s face is pale and his mouth is dry, but his hands are very sweaty. _I was rude to him. He was being nice and I tried to blow him off._  
“You have to text him!” Phichit is jumping up and down, making thud noises that Yuuri is sure their downstairs neighbors aren’t enjoying.  
“I can’t text him. I used my ‘don’t feel bad about my disability everything’s okay’ voice on him!”  
“I mean that’s not that bad Yuuri! You used it on me when we first met!”  
“I can’t do it. He probably thinks I’m some creepy blind dude with a superiority complex. He’s probably trying to find a way to not have to go over the course materials with me. He probably - ” Yuuri’s phone buzzes in his hand. Once. Twice. Three times.  
“Yuuri. What. The. Fuck. Was that?!” Yuuri taps his screen and the voice reads out “messages now Victor Nikiforov three” and Phichit gasps. Yuuri is overwhelmed and thanks a god, any god, that Phichit didn’t start yelling. “Well, what does it say?”  
“I don’t want to read it.”  
“Yuuri, you have to read it.”  
“No. No I don’t. I’m a grown man and I don’t have to read it if I don’t want to.”  
“If you don’t read it, I will.”  
“I have all the accessibility features turned on. There’s no way you could work my phone.” Phichit doesn’t answer right away. Yuuri isn’t sure if he’d rather have Phichit push him to read and respond or leave him alone.  
“Okay, Yuuri. You’re right. You don’t have to and I’m not going to try to force you to. It could be good though Yuuri. And if it is, you’ll be glad you didn’t wait. And if it’s bad, you don’t even have to respond. Plus, I’ll always have your back.” _Damnit. How is that both better and worse than what I thought he might say?_ Yuuri thanks Phichit for being a good friend, like always, and goes to his room. When he sits down, he goes over the possibilities. Of course his mind goes straight to the one million awful scenarios that could play out, but Yuuri pushes his toes to the ground, takes a deep breath, and slowly tries to think calmly.  
Although Phichit really simplified what could happen, he’s ultimately right. Yuuri thinks about all the great things that Phichit said about Victor. He sounded so accomplished and Yuuri would be blown away to have a friend like that. And even if the messages just tell Yuuri that he can’t meet up and to just email from now on, Yuuri has a best friend in the other room who won’t ditch Yuuri just because Victor doesn’t want to be his friend.  
Yuuri taps his screen again and it reads “messages 10 minutes ago Victor Nikiforov three” like it did in the kitchen. Then Yuuri unlocks his phone and the voice over begins reading Victor’s words to him.

“Yuuri! I’m sorry again about the papers. I’ve already started scanning them though *smiling face with squinting eyes* they should be done tomorrow actually!  
Is Tuesday during work hours at the SLC good? Or sooner works for me! We could get a coffee and I can explain Yakov’s assbackwards old fashionness *face with tears of joy*  
Oh crap. Is texting okay? I should’ve asked you before I left. I’m sorry. I’ll call from now on!”

The voice over finishes and Yuuri just sits. _Victor is still willing to work with me. He’s scanning the papers and getting in touch so quickly. How is he so nice after I was so rude?_ Yuuri jolts from his thoughts as he realizes that he’s making Victor wait for a response on making time sensitive plans. He starts trying to type a response but keeps deleting his words. He’s finally settles on “Hi Victor, thanks for helping scan the papers” when his phone starts buzzing in his hand. Again. This time the voice reads “Incoming call from Victor Nikiforov”.


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sometimes Yuuri cares just a little too much about the people around him.

 

_ *Buzz* _

_ *Buzz* _

_ *Buzz* _

_ Victor is calling me.  _

_ *Buzz* _

_ It’s rung four times…  _

“Victor’s calling me and I haven’t picked up! Oh my god, answer!” Yuuri shocks himself into action, but he’s so flustered that he accidentally ends the call instead of answering. Thankfully though he’s so worried about Victor thinking he’s rude that he doesn’t give himself the time to stress out about calling back. The phone only rings once before Victor answers, but he can’t get a word in because Yuuri starts apologizing. “Victor, I’m so sorry! You were so nice to bring Feltsman’s papers and then to scan them! You didn’t have to do any of that so quickly, but you did, and then I hung up on you, but I didn’t mean to! I swear! I’m so sorry!” Finally Yuuri stops because he has to actually breath. His nerves and lack of air due to rambling have managed to make him light headed. He has to ask Victor to repeat himself. 

“Oh Yuuri! Don’t worry. Scanning some papers is the least I could do for you.” Victor’s tone makes the words soothing instead of pitiful. Yuuri sighs, thankful. “Did you read my messages? I’m sorry I didn’t call in the first place. Though, you’re so smart and now that I think about it, assuming texting is hard is probably a bit rude of me.” 

“No no no! You haven’t been rude at all! Quite the opposite. Yes, I read them, and Tuesday would be great. I’d hate to take up some of your weekend.” 

“Well, I wouldn’t mind in the slightest, but if you say Tuesday is better for you then okay. I’ll email you the files tomorrow.”

“Thank you so much, Victor. You didn’t have to do so much for me. Thank you.”

“Yuuri, it’s my pleasure! I’ll see you on Tuesday!”

“Yes, see you Tuesday!” Victor hangs up first. 

Yuuri quietly stands up and walks out the door. He calls for Phichit, who tells him that he’s in his room. Yuuri opens the door and says, surprisingly calmly, that he’s just talked on the phone with Victor Nikiforov. 

Phichit, living up to his reputation, drags Yuuri to sit on the bed with him and the hamsters to share exactly what happened in excruciating detail.

“Yuuri! You’re making friends that I didn’t introduce you to!” he exclaims. 

Yuuri chuckles awkwardly and rubs the back of his head. “I’m not so sure if I’d call us friends, Phichit. He’s just being helpful.”

“Maybe, but you’re well on your way to becoming friends. Anybody who offers to meet up outside of business hours obviously likes your company. You need to be more optimistic, Yuuri!” 

They talk for a little while longer before Yuuri goes to bed. As he lays down, Yuuri thinks about his friends, or lack thereof. Three, if you don’t count teachers and family. They’re great friends and Yuuri wouldn’t trade them for the world.  _ Having another person around might be nice though…. _

 

~ 

 

Although math has come easy to Yuuri his entire life, he has to work regularly to maintain what he’s learned. This semester he’s taking his second quantum mechanics class and uses all of his spare time on campus to study. He has his headphones in, listening to the voice over program read back his work to him when Victor walks in. Victor greets Yuuri once, twice, and then finally lays his hand on Yuuri’s shoulder to get his attention. Yuuri startles slightly and takes his earbuds out. 

“You must be listening to something really great!” Victor says warmly. Yuuri smiles sheepishly. 

“Not really. I’m just doing some homework.”

“What a devoted student! What class is it for?”

“Umm... Quantum Mechanics B.”

“Yuuri! You’re so smart!! Are you a physics major?”

“Engineering physics actually.” 

“Wow! That’s amazing! I hate to interrupt your studying, but I’m glad you had time for me.” 

“It’s no problem, don’t worry. I’m glad  _ you  _ had time for  _ me _ . I got the scanned docs and went over them. It seemed pretty normal for a calc class.” There’s a pause and Yuuri hears the chair across the desk slide out. 

“Well then… Maybe you can help refresh me! I wasn’t super active in Yakov’s class last semester, mostly just grading assignments, but now he wants me to run some study sessions. Since you help teach students stuff regularly, I bet you’d be great at teaching me to teach!” Yuuri feels his cheeks get warm at the compliment. 

“I’m sure you’re a great teacher, Victor. You certainly don’t really need help from me.” 

“You’ve already set aside an hour so we’ve got to do something,” Victor retorts with a light laugh. It’s relaxed and inviting and Yuuri smiles along. Yuuri relents and they begin to go over the lessons, focusing on explaining the steps and example problems. Because both of them are so familiar with the material, they move along quickly and get through four lessons in an hour. 

“I understand why students come to you, Yuuri! You explain things so clearly! But since we haven’t gone over the entire course, maybe we should schedule some more time together?”

“This was really nice actually. Like a good run through before I have to explain it to someone who actually needs help. I think that’d be a good idea, but I don’t know if my boss is okay with me not seeing actual students during work hours.” 

“Oh, that’s okay! We can do it at other times! During the week can get busy for me, but I’m always available on weekends! We could reserve a room at one of the libraries or we could go to a coffee shop or my place or yours. I’m flexible!” Yuuri hesitates at the offer. Although Victor says weekends are no big deal, he seems like the type of person that would be invited to things or have lots of fun plans. Yuuri doesn’t want to be a dampener, but then again, Victor has offered multiple times. 

“The weekends would be great if you’re sure you’re free. I don’t want you to have to cancel or reschedule anything.”

“I’m absolutely sure! I’ll reserve a study room for a couple hours this Saturday! What times work best for you?” Yuuri and Victor decide on a time and a library, and Victor promises to message Yuuri the room number once he’s made the reservation. They say goodbye and it take a little while for everything to sink in for Yuuri. Yuuri has just made weekend plans, work related plans maybe, but still weekend plans. He’s nervous but also happy and a little excited. Then he remembers that he’ll have to explain everything to Phichit later and smiles because now he has something to share other than which wall he bumped into or what he had for lunch. 

 

~

 

After Victor messages Yuuri which study room he’d reserved for Saturday, Yuuri calls the library and reserves it for the hour and a half before him and Victor are supposed to meet. He usually spends Saturday afternoons studying and figures if he arrives early he can avoid any potential embarrassing moments, like walking into the wrong room or Victor seeing a library worker guiding Yuuri around. 

Yuuri gets through half of an assignment for Engineering Thermodynamics by the time Victor arrives.  

“Yuuri! You’re early!” Victor exclaims with a bit of shock but mostly excitement. 

“Hi, Victor. Yeah, I usually study on Saturdays anyway, so I reserved the room for the hour and a half before we were supposed to meet.” Yuuri thankfully gets through his (practiced) explanation without much blushing.

“Oh Yuuri, you should’ve told me! I was working at home! We could’ve studied together!” Yuuri hears the chair next to him slide out and Victor’s bag plop onto the table. “Maybe next time?” 

“Yeah, next time,” Yuuri says with a small smile. 

Victor asks a few questions about Yuuri’s work and they chit chat for a couple minutes. Yuuri worries a little that they won’t get through very much because of how talkative Victor is, but Yuuri is proven wrong very quickly. Once they change topics to the course materials, Victor’s demeanor changes. At their last meeting, Victor seemed focused but easy-going, mixing explanations of how Professor Feltsman teaches with questions about how Yuuri runs tutoring sessions. Now Victor is all business. 

They start the lesson on Riemann sums but come to a disagreement on how to approach breaking down the topic for students. Victor thinks Yuuri is over complicating things. He explains the different types of sums quickly and clearly, and Yuuri is caught at how well he expresses his thoughts. 

By the end of the two hours, they’ve finished over half of the semester’s lessons. 

“I thought this would be a regular thing, but you’re so great that it seems like our next little session might be our last,” Victor tells with a silly pout. Yuuri blushes and says thank you. “I’ll reserve this room for the same time next week?”

“Yeah that sounds-”

“Wait!” Victor cuts in enthusiastically. “We said we’d study together! I’ll reserve it for earlier then.” 

“Oh. That’s right. I had almost forgotten about that…” Yuuri doesn’t mean to sound hesitant but does. 

“If you don’t want to we-” Now it’s Yuuri’s turn to cut in. 

“No! I didn’t mean to say that I didn’t want to because I definitely do! Studying together would be great.” Yuuri surprises himself with the outburst, but Victor’s cheerful “great!” helps to subdue his embarrassment. 

They both pick up their things and start towards the door. Yuuri runs his hand along the wall and finds the handle, opening it for Victor. As they step out, Yuuri unfolds his cane. 

“Oh… would you… do you… umm.” Victor stumbles over his words for the first time that day. It takes Yuuri a split second to realize that Victor’s uncomfortableness is because of his cane.  _ He’s not used to have to walk around with a blind person. Of course he’s embarrassed. _

“I’m okay. I remember walking up so finding my way out shouldn’t be hard. You can go on ahead.” Yuuri lowers his head a little. 

“No, I’d like to walk out with you.” Victor sounds sure but not as bright as usual. “I just don’t know how this works” 

Yuuri considers insisting that Victor leave without him, but remembers Victor’s stubbornness.  _ If he says so… _

“Okay,” Yuuri starts, quietly. “I hold my cane in my right hand so I usually have the guide on my left.” Yuuri feels Victor move to his left side. “Then you fold your arm so your elbows at about at 90 degree angle and I hold right about your elbow.” Yuuri reaches his hand out slightly and feels Victor’s arm. “Now we walk. Just tell me what’s coming up, like steps or doorways or narrow spaces.” There’s a long pause before Victor says ‘okay’ in a hushed tone. Yuuri figures he probably nodded and forgot to give a verbal confirmation. 

They leave the library without really talking. Victor gives little warnings about the elevator doors and steps and stuff, but he isn’t chatty. When they’re finally outside, Yuuri tells Victor that Phichit is picking him up and they say goodbye. 

In the car, Phichit questions Yuuri as usual, but leaves him alone when Yuuri sticks to one or two word answers. He goes straight to his room when they get home. 

 

~

 

Yuuri walks out of his room fifteen minutes after he gets home, with his headphones in, and heads to the kitchen. Phichit speaks up after Yuuri puts the rice in the rice cooker and leftovers in the microwave. 

“Yuuri, what happened with Victor?” Phichit is almost sure Yuuri heard him, but Yuuri isn’t answering. “I know you can hear me.” 

“Nothing really happened. We finished almost all of the lessons and then we left.”

“You know how much I hate when you downplay things. We’ve lived together for almost two years now and unlike you, I can read the looks on your face. I know when something’s wrong, so please, tell me. I just want to help.” The microwave dings and Yuuri grabs his plate. 

“Crap. The rice is going to take a while. I should’ve waited.” Yuuri sighs and leans against the counter. There’s a long pause as Yuuri picks his words. “Things got… uncomfortable when we were leaving. I got out my cane and he just kind of stopped talking. He offered to guide and I explained how, but he hardly said a word after that other than ‘we’re at the elevator’ and ‘the rails on your right’. He was embarrassed and so was I and that’s it.”

“Oh Yuuri.”

“This isn’t new. It’s happened before and it’ll happen again. I don’t blame him or anything. I know I’m embarrassing.”

“Yuuri! There is nothing embarrassing about you! If other people don’t like your cane or guiding then that’s their problem not yours!” 

“I know… call me when the rice is done please.” Yuuri goes back to his room and closes the door. 

Yuuri sits at his desk and holds his cane in his lap. He slowly starts to cry as he thinks about how his blindness affects the people around him. 

At the B&B, he couldn’t really contribute. He’d fold laundry or dry the dishes, but Mari was burdened with so many chores she hardly had time to do anything else. His parents had wanted to remodel the kitchen, but when Yuuri showed an interest in math, they had to use what they had saved to buy him a new laptop and all of the accessibility programs. His one high school friend, Yuuko, missed eating lunch with the other upperclassmen so that Yuuri wouldn’t eat alone. Phichit had to get a job at Starbucks because the school wouldn’t pay him to take notes for Yuuri any longer. Victor’s image being ruined by Yuuri wasn’t as big of a deal comparatively, but it was a fresh reminder of what being around Yuuri did to people. 

Yuuri could live with how people treated him. He didn’t like it, but he could manage because that was just his life. The thought that he was bringing other people down with him though hurt more than any rude jerk’s words ever had. 

Yuuri wipes his face with his shirt and runs his hands over his cane. The handle is blue and has a charm of a poodle. Phichit ordered it for him their first Christmas together. Yuuri places it in its spot by his bag.  _ Just one more way I’ve put someone out. _

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry it's a bit short! I'm not the most prolific writer. Or the fastest. But I'm enjoying myself and really hope you are too! 
> 
> Give Dianna lots of love on AO3 [here](https://archiveofourown.org/users/DiAnna44/pseuds/DiAnna44)  
> and on tumblr [here](http://literallynothingbutvictuuri.tumblr.com/)  
> 

**Author's Note:**

> Special shout out to my incredible beta/editor Dianna! You can find her on AO3 @DiAnna44 and on tumblr @literallynothingbutvictuuri.
> 
> (Also I haven't posted on AO3 before so please forgive formatting issues. I'll figure things out before the next chapter, I promise!)


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